a prayerful quandary

Ok I was told a few weeks ago to let many things go. one of them being the pain caused by my dad

I was working yesterday and I was stocking the men's shaving products and stumbled upon some Gillette shave gel. I decided I wanted to know what it smelled like to see if its something David may want.

it smelled like my dad.

now he has had a beard my entire life so I don't think he's ever used Gillette shaving gel on a regular basis, it must of been something else of that brand that he used. deodorant maybe.

i guess it doesn't really matter.

in the middle of work though it sent my brain reeling. back to 3 Wednesdays ago when I was told to let go.

my question is this. what is that supposed to look like?

am I supposed to let go of my desire for reconciliation? or am I supposed to reconcile in order to let go?

a prayerful quandary indeed.

I heart Weddings

My best friend got married Saturday. It was a beautiful day and I couldn't be happier for her. I can see how much her now husband truly loves her and that makes me smile.

who knew that Mr. Antonio's 8th grade science class would get us where we are now. Friends through thick, thin and many miles, a friendship I will always cherish.

Congratulations Mrs. Hammer, you deserve all the happiness in the world and who knew through all of those crushes, pints of Ben and Jerry's, magazines, slumber parties, weekly trips to walmart,Starbucks. and boo boo's that we would now both be old married women?

it makes me smile indeed.

rocked by the holy spirit

i do not have words to articulate tonight's church service. just wow.WOW. WOW.



to not forget:let go



HE is the only was that has never, will never let me down, let Him take it, he is holding out his arms waiting for me to hand it over. I just need to let go.

Job 23:10-12

for memorization:

But he knows the way that I take:
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold

My feet have closely followed his steps:
I have kept to his way without turning aside

I have not departed from the commands of his lips:
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my
daily bread.

struggling

its been a tough week.

I'm struggling with small picture disappointment and big picture confusion.

I feel lost,and very exhausted from the journey of trying to get unlost, or just the journey period.

I just want for once in my life for things to be easy, like it seems for some many. I'm just tired of struggling.

just tired.

Happy Heart

life is in a strange state for many i know currently.

spring time always brings hope, and love, and potential.

life never goes where you think it goes or what you want when you are younger

sometimes its better sometimes its worse. but regardless it moves on.

I may not know what job I'm supposed to have or when ill have a baby but i do know that I am truly blessed to have an awesome husband that i love dearly along with friends i love just as much.

I need to remind myself of these things when i catch myself getting caught up in the day in day out of life. I need to sit back and look at the big picture.

I don't need to have it figured out, God does. my husband loves me. at 26 I can still giggle with my friends over boys, the future and life and that makes me happy.