I have a meltdown weekend part 2 written but not sure if ill actually post it.
Its long and says so much, and nothing at all
it doesnt say how im plagued with conflicting thoughts about wanting to be pregnant now, not that I no longer want to but that thinking maybe I shouldnt want to now. I know we're not in a great place right now financially but in my heart I know if I do get pregnant things will be tough yes, but will work out.
it doesnt say how I dont know why I am consumed with the want, need to have a baby. Our lives are good, we are happy. Im not wanting a baby to fufill anything or I dont know how to explain it. but none the less I am consumed
it also doesnt say how I realised a couple weeks ago that when I went off the pill and we prayed about it that I was basically saying ok God, I'm ready. I never stopped to think that maybe it really wasnt God's timing yet.
and it also doesnt say how I am taunted? haunted? not sure what word Im looking for but there are pregnant women and newborns everywhere I turn and its starting to get annoying. is everyone having a baby but me? somedays it feels like it
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