tragedy has struck someone fairly close to me and I'm having a hard time processing it. how to be there for someone so young? how to help someone period in a situation you have no real concept of? I have prayed for them and will continue to pray for them, somehow it doesn't feel like enough.
i kinda feel bad though because I am more upset about this than Davids grandmother passing away last week. at least I know his grandmother isn't suffering and my friend is.
my thoughts lately have been consumed with getting/being pregnant. I just found out another person I know is pregnant and I want to be too! and then my mind wanders to what if we're destined to be one of those childless couples. and every fiber of my being cant believe that would be true, it just cant be. So I continue to pray about it and each day get more and more impatient.
I thought having interviews would make it seem like a job is actually in the near future, but really it doesn't feel like it. the interview I had yesterday didn't go badly but its working with severely mentally disturbed youth and I'm not sure I'm cut out for that. plus if I do get pregnant its not someplace I would want to work where its very much a possibility. to be kicked, spit at, punched or bitten.
I have a second interview tomorrow and i have a list of stipulations that I would need if i am offered the job for it to be even remotely economically feasible for us.
meh.
I just want david to find an awesome job, for me to get pregnant and to be a stay at home mom. really I dont think thats too much to ask.
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