odd dream

I had a dream about my dad last night.



not quite sure of the circumstances but for some reason I had to wait to be picked up by my mom at my dad's house, the random thing is I'm pretty sure I was the age I am now.



but I was supposed to be waiting in his empty house, the reason it was ok was he wasnt going to be home. 15 minutes, It was only supposed to be 15 minutes. but my mom was late and he showed up and it was quite akward.



in the dream I discovered things about my dad ( have no idea if they're true) he's a tinkerer and a clean freak and has christmas decorations up all year. but it wasnt like he hadnt taken them down ever, it was like he was in a constant state of redecorating, with christmas decorations.



he was confused on who Jackson was, first he thought he was someone my mom was married to and I was like,hello my husband, we've been together for almost 10 years!



it was quite odd indeed

grown up work

my interview went well, at least that's what I'm going with. I don't particularly think it went poorly, I'm just always my own worst critic.

this interview has refreshed my enthusiasm and passion for wanting to work in the non-profit sector specifically related to youth.

If I don't get this job, I have new inspiration for continuing my dream. I really hope I get it, in my head its the perfect entry level job combining all of my passions and skills sets.

I'm supposed to hear back by Friday or Monday at the latest. ideally she wants to hire Friday and have the person start working Tuesday.

Have I mentioned I really want this job?

nervous wreck

yep thats me, a nervous wreck about my interview.

I have great friends though and they help, and my awesome husband helps as always.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this

Things are looking up

I have an interview Tuesday. not just any ole interview, an interview for a job that would actually be using my degree, amazing.

its at a youth program i volunteered at for almost a year. the person doing the interview was not only my supervisor while I volunteered by she is also a fellow alumni of not only my college but the same program I went through. The position title is Site Administrator. its a combination of office work and assisting the youth in their after school program. its 20-30 hours a week with the potential to go full time.

I'm trying not to get too excited. but it would be the answer to so many prayers.

Hope, I'm sticking with hope. actually that was in my cover letter, well Hope was. I had to talk about one of the virtues the programs holds dear and why I chose it, i went with hope. always go with hope.

yesterday we got a card in the mail from some good friends who have recently just gone through the struggle with unemployment along with a check. it was so sweet, and touching and I cried. the gesture meant so much to me and only reaffirms to me more that we have awesome friends and an awesome church family

good day today on top of the call back for the interview. a walk on the beach with perfect weather,baked cookies and had a blast at the talent show my church had tonight. it was hilarious.

ok,I think its time for bed

head spinning

so much struggle going on right now, scrambling to try to find a way to stay in the bay area.

so much going on in my brain and I cant come up with coherent thoughts to get the words out.

we love it here, are so extremely happy here. but right now its just really not being economically feasible to stay.

I have so many people praying for us, its amazing and touching. sometimes though it makes me want to cry, sometimes I don't sometimes i do

I don't know. i just don't know.

I'm frantically try to hold on to my Hope, I always have hope